Or, “I just don’t know how to make you care about Brown people.”
WORLD – Two-hundred and sixty-nine days into genocidal conflict, the reasons for which obvious to any compassionate soul, the world’s top marketers have finally come together to brainstorm the perfect ad campaign to promote peace and a ceasefire.
According to one expert, “On the one side, you’ve got people marketing the Palestinian land they’ve razed to the ground as future housing complexes and resorts for people who aren’t Brown. This is obviously very lucrative for them, but what about the Palestinians? Something being obviously wrong isn’t enough — we need flashier marketing.”
Unfortunately, market research suggests that even the shiniest, cutest, most well-photographed Brown baby doesn’t automatically win over the palm-colored crowd. Even when it does, it still fails to motivate our most pivotal demographic — the ruling class of Western corporations and politicians.
“Though people legally speaking, corporations — and politicians alike — do not have souls,” says another marketing expert, who chose to remain anonymous after prior threats of doxxing. “You can’t just show them a photo of a healthy Palestinian baby and go, ‘Would you throw white phosphorus in THIS cute little face?’. They would. Trust me.”
So far, “Palestinian Lives Matter” has not caught on as an easily exploitable and profitable marketing gimmick. The world’s best minds are on the move to invent the next best marketable plea to make it seem as though the lives of those in the Middle East and other countries have value to the West.
#satire
